I was born on January 9, 1982, the second child to my immigrant parents from India. My parents worked hard to give us the life they had only dreamt about.  Growing up as a first generation Canadian was difficult at times, as my parents didn’t understand what it was like to grow up Indo-Canadian.  At my elementary school Daly Grove, I was a minority. I dealt with racism and being secluded because I was “different,” little did I know that this would help shape the woman I have become and helped me to stay positive in life.. 

For as long as I can remember I have always been “different” from my personal style to my way of thinking.  I was always told that I could do anything I put my mind to. I think my parents wanted me to excel more in school but I was never that child, my interests were more focussed on fashion and boys. 

I grew up practicing in the Sikh religion, which I have a lot of respect for but found to be very difficult because we weren’t allowed to eat meat, cut our hair, or remove hair from any part of our body.  Not eating meat wasn’t that big of a deal since most Indian dishes are vegetarian and delicious.  My sisters and I struggled with not cutting our hair or shaving our legs, we just wanted to be like the other girls at school, but that’s something my dad didn’t understand. 

Junior high was an especially difficult time as it is for any tween going through their “awkward phase.”  I attended T. D. Baker Junior High along with most of my grade 6 class.  During those 3 years I grew so much, not only physically but emotionally as well, I made new friends, had drama with old friends and somehow found the confidence to talk to boy(s) I had a crush on.  Dating was strictly forbidden in our house, we weren’t even allowed to be friends with boys, we grew up knowing only about arranged marriages.  No one in India dated or had love marriages and we were no different, except for the tiny detail that we were NOT in India.

In high school at W. P. Wagner I put effort into my studies but not as much as I could have or that my parents would have liked.  The last semester of grade 12 my whole family went to India and left me home alone with a vehicle and a debit card.  My friend and I tried to be the bad kids and throw a party but we were too scared of the repercussions so we chickened out.  I went to school everyday but didn’t make it to many of the classes, I was sure I’d get away with it except I made one rookie mistake, I forgot to clear the answering machine which was full of automated messages from my school alerting my parents I had skipped classes.   Needless to say I got in a lot of trouble. 

Because of my lack of attendance, I missed my opportunity to apply to post secondary schools, which didn’t bother me, as my grades were too low to be accepted anyways.  I spent 2 years upgrading my high school marks before I was accepted into the Medical Radiologic Technology program at NAIT

In September 2007 I married who I thought was my soul mate but I was very wrong about that. We were only married for 4 and a half years and in those years, we both changed and grew in different directions.  The marriage ended violently in April 2012 and I left him.  I had moved back in with my family and they welcomed me with open arms and gave me all the support and love I could’ve asked for.  Another big change in my life at this time was I got a job at a private clinic as a supervisor.  I loved the job, loved the people I worked with and loved the role of being a supervisor, little did I know that I’d only get to work in this job for 6 months before my life was flipped upside down, yet again.  2012 was the year of CHANGE but I continued to try to stay positive!

I was going to Las Vegas for my friends stagette on July 11, 2012.  That day I was rushing around trying to get everything packed and ready to go, it doesn’t help that I’m a big procrastinator and I leave everything to the last minute.  I went to the pharmacy to pick up a new Epi-Pen as I’m severely allergic to shellfish, and the last time I was in Vegas I had an anaphylactic reaction which landed me in the hospital, but this time I was prepared, or so I thought.  We were in a rush to get to the airport because we were running late, when I was checking in at the counter I got a call from my mom, I had forgotten to go inside and give her a hug goodbye, I felt terrible but I’d be seeing her sooner rather than later. 

Our first night there we went out and enjoyed the strip, the next day, Thursday, we shopped at the premium outlet ALL day, until we dropped.  We woke up on Friday the 13th wanting to go to the pool but it was raining… in July… in Vegas, when does that ever happen? I laid back in bed with my friends and experienced the most excruciating pain in my low back that I have ever felt, and I have a very high pain tolerance.  The pain only lasted about 5-7 minutes then started to settle.  Almost immediately I couldn’t move my right leg, I didn’t know what was happening and I didn’t say anything to my friends either.  I was bending my left leg up and down and moving it around, a couple of minutes later my leg went prickly from my hip to my toes and I was paralyzed from the waist down.  At this point I said “hey guys, I can’t move my legs.”  My friends were starting to panic but being an X-Ray tech I stayed calm and thought about what was happening in my spine. 

I knew I had to call 911 and get to a hospital as soon as possible.  I called my insurance company first because as I learned from my last American hospital visit its best to check with your insurance company which hospital you will be fully covered at.  They told me to call 911 which I did immediately after hanging up with them.  The ambulance came fairly quickly, they transferred me to the stretcher as I could barely lift my head and shoulders off the bed.  Once I got to Spring Valley Hospital I had a full spine MRI, which came back normal, along with the majority of other tests that were done on day 1. 

I didn’t call my family yet because I knew they would want answers and I didn’t have any at that time, I also didn’t think it was that big a deal and was trying to stay positive, I truly thought that I’d just get up and walk out of there.  During the night I overheard one of the nurses say that they were waiting for a bed to open in ICU, the intensive care unit.  That’s when I got scared, you don’t go to ICU if everything is ok.  I called my sister and mom on Saturday morning and told them what happened.  My mom kept saying “just try to move your toes, just keep trying,” I tried with all my might but got nothing.  I could feel my legs, I felt all the needles and the tests the doctors were doing but I couldn’t move anything below my waist.  I’ll never forget how scared and alone I felt that day sitting in emergency by myself unable to do anything for myself. 

I was in the hospital for 12 long days and ran up a bill of almost $124,000.00 thank goodness I had coverage through work.  While I was in the hospital I had every test under the sun but they all came back “normal.”  The doctors told me the only other explanation is that I have conversion disorder, which happens when you’re under so much stress that your brain tells your body to shut down.  This is a real disorder that happens to a lot of people, paralysis is at the extreme end but it made sense because I was under a great deal of stress at that time.  I was freshly separated from my ex, and I was going to see him soon as we were both in the same bridal party.  I guess it worked because I didn’t go to the wedding and didn’t have to see him, but I was paralyzed. 

While in the hospital I was watching my leg muscles atrophy or shrink due to lack of use.  I was very healthy and worked out A LOT doing yoga, weight training and kickboxing before coming on this trip working to stay positive, next to becoming paralyzed the worst part was that I didn’t even get to wear a bathing suit or sit in a pool.  I knew I needed to start physiotherapy as soon as possible but my attending doctor did not want me to start any programs as I was to return to Canada and I’d have to start over again.  I was to be flown back to Edmonton by medi-vac but I was very low on the priority list as I wasn’t on any medications or have a life threatening injury.  After a few days of talking to my insurance company, my attending doctor and my family doctor in Edmonton, I was finally able to be discharged from the hospital and fly back home on a commercial flight.  I was so happy to be back in Canada. 

The next morning after eating a delicious home cooked meal, I went to the Grey Nuns Hospital as I was told to go see a psychiatrist to help me through my “conversion disorder.”  I waited for about 3 or 4 hours before I saw the psychiatrist, who judged me immediately upon meeting me because I had blonde hair.  After telling him my story in full, he simply said to me “I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. Generally, people who have these symptoms have a large monetary gain coming towards them, do you?” I was very offended, I was NOT faking my paralysis, nor did I have any kind of monetary gain coming my way, in fact I was losing money as I wasn’t able to work anymore.  I refused to spend another night in the hospital so after being in the psych room in the ER for 8 hours, I discharged myself and went home. 

The next few weeks were full of appointments with physiotherapists, psychologists, a hypnotherapist, massage, acupuncture, a naturopath and a fraud “natural healer” that gave me four first degree burns and still didn’t “heal” me.  About a month after being paralyzed my legs started to spasm, violently.  I was happy with it because any movement is better than no movement in my books.  I saw my family doctor who had a sneaking suspicion that I was mis-diagnosed so he sent me for another MRI.  As I awaited my MRI appointment I was laying on my bed watching tv with my mom, I was trying really hard to concentrate on wiggling my toes when I thought I did it.  I ripped the covers off of me and tried it again and THEY MOVED! I called to my mom and she started crying, making a video and called my sisters. That is a day that I’ll never forget as I continued to stay positive that things were about to change. 

A few weeks later I was able to rub my right hip and then it would internally and externally rotate.  I was working very hard at getting my core strength back up along with learning how to do everyday things all over again, even brushing my teeth was hard because I had no core.  I couldn’t balance without being supported, turn myself over at night, or transfer from my chair to the bed or vice versa. 

It was very difficult giving up my independence, asking for help is not something I did very often but now I was forced to ask for help with literally everything.  I had been seeing my psychologist twice a week, I am so grateful and thankful that I found such an amazing therapist to help me stay positive and work through all the adversity I was facing and dealing with.  She gave me the tools I needed to deal with my emotions and struggles, she also helped my family with one on one sessions because when something this big happens, it affects everyone in different ways. 

I had my MRI in October 2012, by this time I’ve had about 20 MRI’s and they’ve all come back normal so I wasn’t expecting anything different with this one.  It was thanksgiving weekend and I got the report of my MRI, I read it and it stated that there was a “lesion in the spinal cord at level T10 T11.  Findings are similar to Transverse Myelitis (TM).”  I regret what I did next which was google transverse myelitis, directly translated it means inflammation of the spinal cord at a certain level, mine was at my waist.  It also said that TM can turn into MS multiple sclerosis.  Once I read those words all I could do was cry, I cried for about 2 weeks when no one was around making it difficult to stay positive. 

I had appointments with 2 different neurologists, one who told me I would “walk into his office in January,” which didn’t happen and was a huge let down.   At the end of all the testing I was told that my lesion is like a scar, it didn’t appear on any previous imaging because it took 3 months to form.  The disease process was done in July and luckily they had given me large doses of steroids to counteract any inflammation around my spinal cord.  I was also told that my case doesn’t look like it would turn into MS, that it would be a “once in a lifetime scenario.”  That made me feel better and this diagnosis kicked off a whole new round of doctor appointments and assessments. 

I was doing physio four times a week and doing as much as I could at home to get my strength up and stay positive.  By this time, it was close to December, I had planned a trip to Puerto Rico with a bunch of my friends and my sister, Tin.  I had to cancel my trip but everyone else was still going, I was so sad, jealous, and mad that this had happened to me and I had to stay back while everyone else was going to have such a great time.

I was in the height of my depression at this time.  I deactivated my Facebook account because I was so sick of seeing everyone’s happy Christmas posts while I felt so bad about my life. December and January were the hardest months to get through, I was not a pleasant person to be around and the affect was felt throughout my whole family who were all trying to stay positive for me, not to mention I had gained over 20 pounds in these 2 months. 

At the end of January, I was told that I had to be admitted to the Glenrose Rehabilitation Hospital in order for them to remove my catheter and retrain my bladder.  I was told that the other therapies would be very beneficial for me as well.  When I asked the doctor if I’d be walking after my stay there he said, “some people have walked out of here.”  I took that to mean that I would walk out of there, but that was another let down.  I did not want to live in the hospital, I cried all the way home because all I could think of was being alone in the hospital in Vegas and I did not want to feel that again. 

I was in the Glenrose for 5 weeks and in that time I made a life long friend. My roommate Erica, who also had sudden onset paralysis and was diagnosed with NeuroMyelitis Optica.  We got along great from the moment we met, we had a lot of fun; the nurses would say we had too much fun as we both encouraged each other to stay positive. 

It was during a physio session that my physiotherapist told me about Project Walk, a paralysis recovery center.  My mom did some research and found a similar gym in Regina called First Steps Wellness Center.  We planned to go there for a week after I had been discharged from the Glenrose.  My mom and I drove to Regina for the week and I worked out for 2 hours everyday with the spinal cord injury recovery specialists.  After just 1 week I saw improvements and was sold on this therapy.  They made videos all week and gave me a comprehensive home program, which I was eager to stay positive and get started. 

When we got back to Edmonton, my brother and cousins made me a workout table and I bought the equipment needed for this home program that I did for about 3 months with the help of my mom or brother, as I need assistance with moving my legs.  In July, my mom had three weeks of vacation so we decided to go to Project Walk in Carlsbad, CA. The improvements I saw in those three weeks were incredible. 

The biggest change I saw was in my calves, since I started getting spasms my legs have had a lot of tone in them, extensor tone to be exact; because of this tone my calves were VERY tight and every time I stood I’d automatically pop onto my toes.  At the end of the first week when I stood my heels stayed on the ground! I was astonished at how well this therapy was working for me.  The science behind their methods is simple, the more you repeat a certain movement and think about the specific muscle as it contracts and relaxes, the easier it is for your brain to make the connection to that muscle.  The lesion in my spinal cord is disrupting the messages going from my brain to my legs. With this method we are teaching the neurons to find a new way around the lesion thus retraining the neuropathways. Today we call this neuroplasticity. This process is proven to work as I have seen first hand; the only downside is that it takes a very long time for the nervous system to heal but I continued to stay positive. 

Before I left California I knew I needed to find a trainer to help me with my workouts when I got back to Edmonton.  I found the practicum coordinator for the faculty of Phys Ed at the University of Alberta and told him that I needed to find a kinesiology student to train me, I sent him the information he requested and he fanned out my e mail to the whole faculty.  I received quite a few responses and interviewed a few people before hiring two girls who would work on opposite days.  Both girls, Chantelle and Nancy showed so much enthusiasm and passion in their work and I was seeing results faster than expected, by trying to stay positive working out 6 days a week for 3-4 hours a day was paying off.

I decided that it would be best if I went back to Project Walk in January for a revision of my program as I have been doing it for 6 months.  As great as Project Walk is, it is also very expensive; flight, accommodation, car rental and food all adds up. With the help of my friends we organized a fundraiser and raised just over $10,000.00, this helped tremendously and I am so thankful and appreciative of everyone who donated.  In January 2013 my mom and I went back to Carlsbad, CA this time for 5 weeks.  We were joined by Nancy for the last week so she could get some hands on training. 

Once we got back we continued working hard together everyday, setting new goals and bashing them out of the water.  I was gaining momentum and the connection to my legs was increasing on a daily basis.  My left calf was still giving me a lot of problems, after talking to a spasticity specialist we decided to inject Botox in my calf.  Botox works by paralyzing the muscle and since my muscles were very overactive I had faith that this would work, unfortunately it did not, it actually kick started a series of unfortunate events. 

In October 2014 I was having a massage, which I have on a weekly basis, as I was flipping from my back to my stomach I had sudden crushing chest pain and pressure and it was very had to breathe.  I started to focus on my breathing as the pain and pressure deceased, we continued the massage and I saw a doctor for the pain.  I was sent for an ECG and was told there was nothing wrong.  2 weeks later after doing the makeup for my friends wedding and attending the wedding I noticed my left leg was a little bigger than my right, I didn’t think anything of it and went to bed.  The next day my left leg was noticeably bigger, after measuring my legs my left leg was 1 inch bigger than the right.  I did my workout at home with Nancy then went to CrossFit at Spark Sports Conditioning, I told my trainer Kim about my leg and he reluctantly worked out with me. 

As we were doing shoulder presses he expressed that my leg looked like it was getting bigger.  He called the physiotherapist who works next door and we measured my legs again, this time Lopez was 2 inches bigger!  I was told to stop working out and go to the hospital asap.  If anyone knows me they know how much I HATE going to the hospital, so I delayed it for as long as I could but deep down I knew I had to go.  I went to the Grey Nuns emergency room where they gave me blood thinners and sent me for an ultrasound the next day.  During the ultrasound the technologist told me that I’d have to go back to the hospital to get my results, being an X- Ray technologist I knew what that meant, I had a DVT, a deep vein thrombosis or blood clot. 

The doctors told me that 2 weeks prior when I felt the chest pain and pressure that I had had a small heart attack, a small piece of the blood clot broke off and ended up in my right coronary artery in my heart.   I was shocked and got mad at myself for not taking it more seriously.  I was in the ICU for 10 days this time and had 3 angiojet procedures where a tiny “drill” breaks apart the clot and sucks it out.  It sounds like a simple procedure but I had quite a few complications including being anaphylactically allergic to the x-ray dye that was injected in me during the procedure.  

I had tubes in both of my femoral veins which meant I had to lay flat the whole time, I also had 4 extra litres of fluid in me and a LOT of blood thinners which made me bruise all over.  I was very uncomfortable during those 10 days and on top of that, my mom, grandma, aunts and uncles had a trip booked to go to India and had to leave while I was still in the ICU.  It was a very difficult time but I didn’t want anyone to cancel their trip because of me, luckily I had my siblings, cousins and friends to help take care of me. 

During this time my right leg stopped spamming, which made my muscles shrink, I also lost the connection to my hamstring, which to this day is one of my biggest struggles.  When I got home and was able to start working out again I had a major breakthrough. My left leg started to bend on its own! Before this, Nancy would manually have to bend my leg and step it through for me, this was a huge milestone for me, walking on my own was a concept I could now see in the near future. 

After months of continuous hard work, I reached a goal that I thought was not quite attainable yet…I walked with my walker without any additional assistance.  It was a very slow walk but it felt so good to be “independent.”  I walk everyday with Nancy and then do a few laps of my house on my own.  2016 will be the year of Bean and I WILL conquer obstacles in my way and reach many goals I have set.  A giant goal I’ve had for a few years now is to open a paralysis recovery centre here in Edmonton, and I’m proud to say that Nancy and I have teamed up once again to bring a Paralysis Recovery Centre to offer hope and support to all Edmontonians suffering from a Spinal Cord Injury or associated disorders.  There is a huge need for an exercise based therapy program here. After you are discharged from the Glenrose Rehab Hospital there is currently nowhere to go to get direct one on one training with a certified kinesiologist who is educated and experienced in spinal cord injury recovery.  We plan on helping people in every way we can.  Though the core of our program will focus on intensive activity based training, we are looking to tackle recovery in a multifaceted way to maximize recovery opportunities which is why we are taking on the areas of nutrition, weight lifting technique/instruction, wheelchair skills and hot yoga adapted for those with physical disabilities.  We want to create an inclusive, judgement free atmosphere where clients can come workout, learn vital information and feel better about themselves.

 After going through all of these obstacles one thing has kept me going… I’m alive.  There is a reason why I have gotten through all these adversities and that is to live life. I am not the type of person to give up and let life roll over me, as long as I have breath I will continue to push and fight my way through any obstacle in my way.  If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it is to never give up, stay positive and love life.