Fatherhood has certainly changed over the generations. It wasn’t that long ago when a husband or partner dropped the mom to be at the hospital and either waited in the waiting room or headed back to work while waiting for the arrival of their child. It was something father’s to be were often excluded from by hospital staff or simply due to social norms at the time.
Today’s dad is more “hands on” so to speak. Attending parenting classes with their partner before the arrival. Reading or taking a course together with their significant other to learn more about the labour process and how they can be supportive during that time. Even being in the room during the delivery is nor the norm rather than the exception.
But for those that are already parents, you know that the act of birth is just the start of becoming a parent. Long nights with a colicky baby and 1am/3am/5am feedings leave you feeling drained and often lead to no time to focus on the relationship between both partners as you simply want to have a good night sleep when there is the opportunity. Date night? No thanks…. Just let me go to sleep.
More and more fathers today are taking the time to take on many of the duties that were often left to the mother in past generations. Changing diapers and helping with feedings are no longer just the mom’s job and a little sour formula or dried breast milk on the back of a suit jacket is the sign of a true father today when he returns back to work.
We reached out to a couple new dads to see how the buildup to fatherhood and the actual arrival of their child affected their lives. These two busy entrepreneurs have embraced the whole process with their partners and if you follow them on Instagram, you’ll see what we mean by the “Rise of the New Aged Dad.”
Jesse Kupina | 43 | Entrepreneur – Central Social Hall | and newly inked motivator at YEG Cycle.
Born and raised in Northeast Edmonton, my first love was hockey and plan A was to play in the NHL! As a plan B, I started working at Arby’s at the age of 13. This is where I started to develop my love and passion for the restaurant business. Since then, I have worked in many different restaurants, nightclubs and bars where I have done everything from wash dishes, tend bar, serve tables, all the way to managing, owning and creating independent concepts. It has always been my dream to own my own restaurant / bar which is why I absolutely love going to work every day with Central Social Hall. On a more personal level, the past 6 years I have really focused on personal development, growth, health and fitness. I have found a renewed energy and desire to pursue being the nest human I can possibly be.
I am an early am work out guy! I love to get that 6am sweat session in; whether it be at YEG Cycle, Champs Boxing or the good ‘ol fashioned GYM! Then its home to see my wife (Amber), pack my food and head off to work for the day. My work days are always unpredictable. Our industry takes you to different hours and times and directions each and every day. This is one of the reasons I love it so much. No two days are the same. Evenings, Amber and I would love to go out to eat and perhaps indulge in a few libations as well. It’s all about balance!
To be honest, my schedule hasn’t changed much since our baby has arrived. I have to give my incredible wife pretty much all of the credit here. For the first couple weeks, it was all just Harlow, Amber and I together 24/7. However, I have found my way back to a similar routine of my morning workouts, work and spending all of my free time with my family. There has definitely been some minor adjustments like attending a variety of baby related appointments at various times of day, our evenings are now spent with some amazing family cuddles on the couch taking turns with Harlow, and I would say that the evenings out eating and drinking have turned into a home cooked meal with an occasional glass of wine and Coors Light!
Amber was blessed with a healthy and happy pregnancy. For me, it did definitely bring up lots of thoughts, feelings and emotions around being a great provider for my family and what that would look like for me. Providing them with the necessities in life, emotional, mental, spiritual and physical support. The one thing I have learned that I am not alone in, is that the feeling when you are having your first baby can seem like you are about to write the biggest and most important test of your life and you have not studied OR don’t even know what the test will be on! I have been trying to settle into doing the best we can and embracing the learning, growing and evolving that Harlow will show us while we support her in her life’s journey.
Becoming a new father has been amazing. I have appreciated everything so far. From looking into Amber’s eyes, both of us breathing through her contractions, seeing what an incredible woman she is, to holding my very own daughter for the very first time. I find myself just staring at Harlow in awe, thinking to myself, I can’t believe Amber and I created this person. Selfishly, one of the coolest parts is that, so far, she looks just like me!
I really didn’t have much for expectations as this is my first baby. The one thing I will say is that I never was much of a “baby-guy”. I have a little dog named Frank, who is 13. For anyone that knows me well, they know how tight Frank and I are. I used to think, hey, if I loved my baby as much as I love Frank … I will be good! My business partner Vance had his twins only 3 weeks before we had Harlow; and, when I went to visit him and Morgan I didn’t feel comfortable holding the baby! I was concerned because I was about to have one of these “babies” in a few weeks. However, being there and watching Harlow come into this world, and holding her for the first time, I have experienced a love that I have truly never felt before. Despite what I did think, there has been a certain natural rhythm, comfort and ease that has occurred behind all the chaos of having a new baby!
Vance Bosch | 34 | Restaurateur | Regional Operating Partner at Central Social Hall
I was highly competitive and athletic growing up playing every sport available through school and spent my spares in the workout room. I started working at the restaurant my mom worked in when I was twelve, washing dishes and bussing tables, eventually moving my way up through the kitchen and held multiple kitchen and pizza driver jobs throughout high school. I worked for my uncle at Cook County as soon as I turned 18 where I bounced around between a few different clubs and started a pub-crawl company with my best friend. I moved away for a year to work at the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise in a fine dining atmosphere. I then tried my hand at construction and in the oilfield like all typical Alberta boys, but always came back to restaurants. I returned to serving at Earls when I moved back to Edmonton and moved up quickly through the leadership grid before meeting Jerry and Jesse and eventually coming on board as a founding partner of Central Social Hall in 2012.
I used to take about an hour in the mornings for some quick and dirty cardio and yoga flows, chart out my day and respond to important emails and texts, then have breakfast and coffee before getting ready for work. I would be away from home 10-12 hours a day for work, including the drive time. Most days I’d be doing a group workout at one of my favourite studios like Xtherapy, Champs, YEG Cycle, and Orangetheory. If I was home in time for dinner I’d cook for my wife and I because it’s still one of my passions. We’d run any errands in the evening and do housework, then I’d finish my day catching up on important emails and working on any of my remote restaurant work and projects that needed to get done.
Since our twin boys are still only a few months old (born July 8), we haven’t done sleep training with them yet, so the only constant in our life now is trying for 8pm bedtime for the boys and everything else is basically just surviving LOL! The morning routine now consists of waking up whenever they wake up hungry (usually around 8am), rushing to get them fed and then start the day. If I work early, I set an alarm for 4-5 hours before my work start time to make sure I’m all showered and ready and everything possible is prepared for the boys to wake up and feed before I leave for the day. I’m now only gone typically 8-10 hours for work, including drive time, and do my best to be home for the last feeding and bedtime because it is a BIG job for only one person! After the boys go to bed, we SHOULD go to bed too, but this is when we catch up on meal prepping, housework, and I spend any extra time working on my laptop until I’m falling asleep around 12-1am, then I go up to bed and get up with the boys for their night feed (usually around 4am).
During pregnancy, my wife (Morgan) was very limited in her movement and workload, so I took on all of the housework, yard work, shopping, cooking, etc. that we used to share. I was also very anxious about being off work when the boys came, so I invested a lot of extra hours into developing my team and the leaders who would be running the business in my absence. Since we delivered by C-section, Morgan was even more limited for the first 6 weeks after delivery, so I continued with all of my home duties while we adjusted to taking care of the boys. Now that I’m back to work, my biggest stress is leaving Morgan to look after both of the boys and the house by herself when I know how difficult it can be.
Besides all the little intricacies of keeping tiny humans alive and learning how incredible a mother my wife is, being a new dad has given me a lot of new perspective. It’s taught me how valuable time is, how valuable sleep is, and it’s shown me a new level of love and care that I didn’t even think was possible. Morgan and I just had a really good insightful post-bedtime chat about how these boys must have been sent to teach us PATIENCE! We’ve both been competitive busy body type A’s our whole lives, and the boys have really forced us to confront that lack in our lives and learn patience.